Come Be Alone With Me
by Lur27
Summary: ONE-SHOT.They've been together for a short time. There are still a lot of things they need to learn about each other. Will they overcome the new obstacles?


**A/N: **I happen to love this song by Ricardo Arjona called 'Acompáñame a estar solo' (Come be alone with me), and I thought that maybe I could work with it for a fic about the first period of the Caskett relationship. We've been told that Beckett will still be her reserved self, but that she will have to work on that, so I think this song works perfectly for her.

These are the chorus lyrics in Spanish:

_Acompañame  
A decir sin las palabras  
Lo bendito que es tenerte  
y serte infiel solo con esta soledad_

Acompañame  
A quererte sin decirlo,  
A tocarte sin rozar ni el reflejo de tu piel a contraluz,  
A pensar en mi para vivir por ti,  
Acompañame a estar solo…

I translated it to English for you, non-Spanish speakers, to understand it. I hope I did it justice:

_Come with me_

_To say without words_

_How blessed I am to have you_

_And be unfaithful to you with just this loneliness._

_Come with me_

_To love you without telling you,_

_To touch you without grazing even the reflection of your skin against the sun,_

_To think of me to live for you,_

_Come be alone with me._

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
_

Time lapses may be a little messed up, but I needed to 'adapt' them to the story. Please, allow me that license ;)

Thanks to my awesome beta CastleWriter16 for, as always, doing an amazing work. LOVE YAAAA!

Hope you enjoy the reading! :)

* * *

**COME BE ALONE WITH ME**

Castle leaned against the doorframe of his study, watching her in silence. He had woken up to an empty bed five minutes ago, wondering where the hell she was at one in the freaking morning.

He had looked for her in the bathroom, in the huge walk in closet (sometimes she felt cold in the middle of the night and sneaked into his closet to grab a t-shirt) and then in his study; but it wasn't until he reached the door to the living room that he found her sitting on the couch with a book in her hands.

She was completely absorbed in her reading, and he would have found the fact that she had gotten out of bed to read in the middle of the night the weirdest thing in the world if they hadn't had that conversation a couple of days ago.

It had all started with her pulling away, as always…

* * *

_**Five weeks ago**_

_Castle was sitting on his chair waiting for Beckett to come back from debriefing Gates about the case they had just closed, his mind wandering through the memories of the last four weeks_

_They had spent four wonderful, amazing weeks together before she had decided to go back to the precinct after her 'fortuitous' resign. He had been ok with it when she told him that she wanted back. Actually, he would have talked her into it if she hadn't brought it up first. _

_Now they were back at the precinct with renewed energies and a relationship they were trying to keep a secret. For now. _

_The previous weeks had been spent between their respective apartments. He stealing time from finalizing the details of 'Frozen Heat' release and the tight 'father-daughter-time' he had planned before he knew this was going to happen, and she, mourning his absence every time he had to leave her to do something. _

_There was no doubt they were two love-sick puppies in their honeymoon phase._

_They had just closed their first case since they got back, and though it had been a torture having to be professional and keep his hands to himself while they were at work, he was pretty happy with how they were managing it now that everything had gone back to normal._

_The door of Gate's office opened and his gorgeous girlfriend walked back to their desk, rubbing a tight spot in her neck with her hand. It had been their first case and it had been a tough one, so he couldn't blame her for being exhausted. Luckily, he knew exactly what she needed._

"_Hey! You ok?" He asked, a soft smile adorning his face. _

_Kate nodded and smiled back. "Yeah. Just tired. It's been a tough week."_

_Castle stood up and helped her clean up the murder board, filling up the cardboard box with the unfortunate evidence of another life lost._

_When they were done, the writer handed Kate her bag and walked with her to the elevator._

"_I was thinking pasta for dinner. What do you say?" He asked, leaning against the wall of the lift. _

_Beckett lowered her head and hawked. "Actually… I think I'm going to go home."_

_Castle looked at her surprised. "Well, we can order in. God knows you never have anything cook-able in that apartment of yours…" _

"_I want to go home… _alone_, Castle."_

_He stared at her, his eyes wide open and his mouth trying to find something to say. "I… um… why? Have I done anything wrong? Was it that I brushed your boob when I passed you your coffee before? Because that was completely unintentional and I…"_

_Kate smiled, looking at him through her thick eyelashes. She found his rambling very amusing. "Castle." She called._

"… _I swear I didn't do it on purpose, Kate. It was an accident. You cant…"_

_She bit her lip. "Castle!"_

"…_No, seriously, you can't just punish me for something I didn't know I was doing. It's just so unfair, Beckett. You need to-"_

"_CASTLE!" She said, cutting him off. The man could go on for days… "Can you please _shutup_?"_

_He looked back at her and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "Sorry."_

"_I'm not punishing you for anything. I'm just tired. I really need a good night's sleep and we both know that if you come home with me that's not going to happen." She watched him smirk at that and couldn't fight a smile of her own. "Do you think you can give me that? One night, so I can rest properly?" _

_Castle reached for her, his big, strong hand stroking her cheek sweetly. "Of course. If that's what you need, you have it."_

_She smiled and moved his hand to her lips, pressing a soft kiss in his palm. "Thank you."_

* * *

That had been the first warning, the spark that lit the fuse. He couldn't know then what was going to happen. How their relationship was going to be threaten by something he didn't understand. Yet.

* * *

_**Three weeks and a half ago**_

_It was nine in the morning when Castle entered the already crowded bullpen with two coffees in hand. He was a little anxious to see Beckett that morning. It was Monday, and they hadn't been able to see each other all weekend, because Alexis had been home having a meltdown about her imminent departure. It seemed that leaving the nest wasn't easy for his baby girl._

_He approached the desk with a huge smile on his face, greeting everyone he crossed paths with. When he got to his destination his face fell. No Beckett._

"_Hey, guys!" He called to Ryan and Esposito. "Do you know where Beckett is?"_

_Espo peered over Ryan's shoulder and shook his head. "No idea, bro. We haven't seen her yet."_

_Castle rubbed his chin. "That's weird. She's never late for work." He pointed out. "Maybe she called in with Gates?"_

"_Could be." Ryan agreed. "But the captain left an hour ago to a meeting at 1PP."_

"_An hour ago? How long have you guys been here?" The writer asked surprised. It was not usual that they were in so early and Kate wasn't around yet._

"_Since seven, man." Espo whined. "This case sucks."_

_When the two detectives started rambling about how much they hated the case and how tired they were, Castle zoned out of the conversation and started thinking about why Kate still wasn't at work at 9:15am._

_He took out his phone and pressed the speed dial. No answer. Damn. He dialed again. Still, no answer. By the fifth missed call he started to get nervous. At the twelfth his legs started shaking vigorously under the desk. By the twentieth he was totally freaking out. Where the hell was she? _

_By 10:05 the elevator doors opened and Kate walked into the bullpen, rewarding him with a sweet smile when she spotted him at their desk. She looked fine, as if arriving to work two hours late was something she did regularly._

_Castle just looked at her with the most neutral expression he could pull off in that moment. After all, they were at the precinct and he couldn't get all tetchy in front of everyone._

_Beckett greeted the boys and walked to sit on her chair, grabbing the already cold cup of coffee Castle had left on the table over an hour ago._

_The writer took the cup from her hands and threw it in the trash. "It's cold." He said harshly._

_Kate's eyes snapped wide open in surprise. "O-kay."_

_Castle stood up, leaned into her and mumbled, "Break room," in her ear and then strode to the room. _

_The detective was speechless and completely confused by his behavior, but she followed him, just moved by the curiosity of finding out what was wrong with him._

_When she walked inside the break room, he was already making coffee. His right hand was working the steam faucet while the left one held the milk pitcher, bringing the foam up. Just thinking about it was making her mouth water in anticipation. _

_He put the pitcher down the moment he saw her, crossing his arms and looking at her with hard eyes. "Where have you been?"_

"_What?" She asked, taken aback by his curtness._

"_I've been here for over an hour, Kate. Nobody knew where you were. I called you like twenty times and you didn't pick up the phone. Where the hell _were_ you?" He asked, his voice getting a little louder with each word he pronounced._

_Kate lowered her head and licked her lips. "I… I'm sorry, Castle. I just… I had a doctor's appointment."_

_He looked at her in disbelieve, like she had just said the weirdest thing in the world. "A doctor's appointment? You had a doctor's appointment?"_

"_Yes, Castle. Why is that so hard to believe?" She asked, starting to feel a little annoyed by his rant._

"_Why is th-… Kate, I had no idea where you were, ok? I freaked out! Why didn't you tell me that you had a doctor's appointment?" He asked, almost yelling. She flicked her eyes in the direction of the bullpen and he turned the volume down. "Are you ok? Is there anything wrong?"_

_She sighed loudly and ran a hand through her hair, trying to pull herself together. "I'm fine. I was feeling tired lately and asked my doctor to run some tests. I went to pick up the results today."_

"_Wait, so you've been to the doctor before?" Castle asked, looking hurt._

"_Yes! I went to draw blood last week. Why is this so important to you, Castle? I just don't get why you are so mad at me."_

"_Of course you don't get it!" He replied, rubbing his face with his hands. "You're too busy doing your life without me to get anything."_

_Beckett gasped, offended. "What's that supposed to mean? I just went to the doctor, Rick! You talk as if were cheating on you or something." She hissed._

"_You're not, but you're not sharing important things with me, which makes it even worse than cheating." _

_Kate snorted and walked towards him, putting her hands on his shoulders and making him look at her. She needed to calm down and make him understand. "First of all, there's nothing worse than cheating. Well, maybe a thing or two, but that's not the case. Second of all, this was not an important thing. I just went to the doctor to run some routine tests because I was feeling tired. I have anemia, Rick, not a terminal cancer!"_

"_You have anemia?" He asked incredulously. "See? That's the problem, Kate. You don't think that's important, but I do."_

_She shook her head. She couldn't understand why it was such a big deal. "What's so important about a routine visit to the doctor?"_

"_It's not the visit to the doctor. It's not even the fact that you have anemia. It's that you didn't tell me, Kate. You've been feeling weird, and you didn't tell me. You decided it was bad enough to ask for blood tests, and you didn't tell me, and to be honest, I don't understand why." He said, his tone deflating slowly. He wasn't mad anymore. He was hurt, and that was worse. "Don't you trust me?"_

_Kate closed her eyes, guilt and remorse falling heavy over her shoulders. "Oh, Rick." She sighed. "Of course I trust you. Why wouldn't I?"_

_He looked up at her, his eyes still dark and hard on hers. "You tell me."_

"_Look," She started, tilting his head up with a finger under his chin. "It's not that I didn't want to tell you, Castle. I just didn't think it was important."_

_He opened his mouth to reply, but she put her hand over it, keeping him quiet. "_Now_, I know that you think it's important, so next time I have a doctor's appointment, I'll let you know. Ok?"_

"_I already told you, Kate. It's not that. Well, it is, but that's not the important thing." He paused to put his thoughts together. Then, he licked his lips and went on. "I want to know if you're feeling wrong. I want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me that you're feeling tired lately, that you think it's not normal and that you're going to see a doctor about it." He explained. "I want you to trust me like that."_

_She looked at him, a mix of surprise and confusion in her eyes, but then she nodded her head. "Ok." She mumbled. "Ok."_

_A strangled cough sounded at the door and they practically jumped away from each other. It was Ryan._

"_Sorry to… interrupt. We have a body." The young detective said, looking at them completely amused. "You guys coming or…"_

_Beckett glared at him. "YES, Ryan. We're coming." _

_He nodded, let out a low "Kay." and left._

_Kate turned back to Castle, who was still looking serious and maybe a little bit sad. "Hey."_

"_Hey." He said back. "We… we should go."_

_She stopped him with a hand in his chest and locked their eyes together. "Rick, I'm sorry. I really am. It won't happen again, I promise. Just… please, don't look at me like that."_

"_Like what?" He asked, confused._

"_Like I'm the bad, old lady who just kicked your puppy." She mumbled through gritted teeth. "I hate that look on you. It doesn't suit you."_

_Castle smiled at that. A tiny little quirk of his lips that made her feel a lot better. "And here I was, thinking everything looked good on me…" He joked back.  
_

_She chuckled. "_Almost_ everything…" She said, leaning in for a quick peck on his lips. "Let's go, Mr. Big Ego, they're waiting for us_

"_Right after you, detective." _

* * *

That had been their first 'serious' fight since they had started their relationship. They had fought about trivial, stupid things since day one - after all, that was their thing - but that fight, what it implied, it was important.

They needed to set the roots for a deeper, more intimate trust, and that was going to take time. Apparently, more than he expected.

* * *

_**Four days ago**_

_Kate woke up to a loud snore coming from the sleeping man below her. He was lying on his back, his mouth wide open, giving him a funny look, and she was right on top of him, practically using him as a warm, breathing mattress. She smiled at the sight and ran her fingers through his thick, soft hair, trying to put it into place. _

_She loved his after-sex hair. She loved knowing she was the one that had made it that ruffled; the paths of her fingers were still visible. To be honest, she loved his after-sex everything. In fact, she just loved him, before and after sex. _

_After letting herself wander through the deep forest that was her feelings for the man lying on her bed, she turned to take a look at her nightstand clock. 10:24 pm. He had to leave. _

"_Rick." She whispered in his ear._

_He just stirred a bit, but kept sleeping. Kate smiled and kissed his earlobe softly, just to nuzzle him later. Her lips traced the shape of his jaw, the rough stubble of his cheek, the sharp tip of his nose, until they landed on his mouth. She took her time there, licking and nipping on his full, delicious lips… And then, he woke up._

_Castle smiled at her before he returned the sweet, little kisses she had been dropping on his face._

"_Hi." He said, at last, his voice still hoarse. _

_Kate bit his lower lip one last time before replying with a soft "hey." She pushed herself up from his chest with her elbows and smiled at him. "It's late. You have to go."_

"_Ugh… But I don't wanna, Kate!" He whined. _

"_Oh, I know you don't wanna. But you gotta." She joked, chuckling at his childish behavior. "Come on, big boy, your daughter is waiting for you at home."_

_Castle grunted loudly and grabbed her arms, holding her close to him. "And I was hoping for an encore…" He whispered in her ear. "Give me something for the road?" _

_Kate laughed and ran her teeth along his jaw, making him shiver. "I don't know, Ricky, it's late and you know that I don't like to _rush_ things." She murmured against his skin, before removing herself from above him. "Up!" _

"_Oww! Kaaate!"_

"_Come on, you lazy butt!" She yelled from the bathroom door. "If you hurry we can share a shower before you leave." _

_Castle almost fell off the bed trying to get up as fast as possible and join his girlfriend in the shower. That was an offer he wasn't going to decline. _

_After taking the _so_ not short shower and getting dressed, Rick was ready to leave. But, not before holding his woman close and giving her a slow, deep, passionate kiss, standing right by the door. _

"_Mmmm, I'm going to miss you." He mumbled against the soft skin of her neck. _

"_You'll see me again in about 8 hours, Castle. You'll survive." She joked, playing with his earlobe. _

_He stopped for a moment to look at her in the eyes. "Actually, I was thinking… My mother and Alexis will be out this weekend. Why don't you come over and stay with me? It'd be fun." _

_Kate couldn't help but wince at his proposal. "I…um… I…"_

"_Wow. Don't be so excited, please." He tried to joke, but she could tell by the tone in his voice that he wasn't exactly amused._

"_I'm sorry Castle, but I don't think that's such a good idea… yet." She said, her eyes trying to guess what was going on in his head. _

_His face fell and his arms were at his sides in seconds, leaving her there, leaning into him as if she was leaning into a wall. "What do you mean, 'it's not a good idea'?"_

"_I just don't think we're ready for that." She paused, took a deep breath. "I am not ready for that."_

_He frowned. "You're not ready to spend a weekend with me?"_

_He was confused, and he had all the right to be, after all, you don't have your girlfriend telling you she doesn't want to spend time with you everyday._

"_It's not that I don't want to do it, Rick, but I don't think it's a good idea right now."_

"_I don't understand." He said, rubbing his face with his hands. "We've been waiting for this for four years, Kate, and suddenly you're not ready?"_

_She let out all the air she had been holding, taking a step back so they could look at each other. "Look, Castle, I need time to get used to this, ok? It's not easy for me."_

_He snorted. His anger was escalating and she couldn't understand why. "Oh, wow. So now you have to make an effort to be with me? Is that what you're telling me?" _

"_What?" She asked surprised at how the conversation had turned into a fight, just because she wanted to wait a bit longer until they spent more than 24 hours together._

_He was shooting daggers at her with his eyes. "I don't get it, Kate. I just don't get it, ok? I thought everything was going great, that we were moving forward, and now you come up with this? I just… I don't know."_

_Kate was completely lost. She had no idea what he was talking about. Why was this so hard for him to understand? "I just need some time, Rick, that's all."_

"_Time. It always comes down to that… you know what? Take all the freaking time you need. I'm just tired of this. Call me when you think you're ready." He blurted out, right before opening the door and walking out of her apartment with a loud bang. _

_Kate stood there for a long while, watching the steel door as if it had the answers to what had just happened. _

* * *

_**Next day**_

_Beckett was waiting in her car for the courage to come, so she could get out and climb the five floors to Castle's loft and talk to him. He hadn't showed up at the precinct that morning. She had called him, but never picked up. The worst part was that she had no idea what was going on. She never thought he would take her hesitant reaction to spending the weekend together so hard._

_After a good ten minutes, she managed to get out of the car and walk to his building. She greeted the doorman and took the elevator to his floor. Hesitance reappeared when she reached his door. _

_At last, she knocked. _

_She could hear footsteps inside the apartment, which meant that at least there was somebody home. After a few seconds, the door opened._

"_Detective Beckett. Hi!" Alexis greeted her with a soft smile. "Dad's in his study. He said he didn't want to be disturbed, but I'm sure he'll make time for you."_

_Kate nodded and gave the girl a tight smile, trying to fight the urge to tell her how wrong she was. "Is he writing?" She asked._

_Alexis shrugged. "I guess so. Though, I went in an hour ago to tell him I was going out tonight and his laptop was not even turned on." _

_The girl knocked on the door and peered her head through the gap. "Hey, Dad. Detective Beckett is here. I'm leaving, ok? I'll be back late. Love you." The girl blurted in a rush. "Bye, detective." _

_Kate nodded her goodbye to Alexis and walked inside the study. She found Castle sitting at his desk, his arms resting on the wooden surface, almost as if accepting defeat._

"_Hi." She said, walking closer to him._

_He didn't even look up at her. She let out a long sigh. "Can we please talk?"_

_Seemingly, that caught his attention. "What's there to talk about, Kate? You wanted time. I gave you time. I honestly thought you would need a little longer, you know, between three months and a year." _

"_Oh, wow." She gasped. "Can you please explain me what is this all about? 'Cause, seriously, Rick, I don't understand anything."_

_He stood up, pushing his chair backwards so he could walk away from the desk. "_You_ don't understand anything? Well, that's funny… You practically broke up with me last night, and you're the one who doesn't understand it."_

_Kate's eye widened at his words. "That I _what?" _She asked incredulous. "I never did such a thing, you moron!" _

_Castle's face flinched in surprise. "You said you needed time. You said you weren't ready."_

"_YES! To spend a whole weekend with you!" She yelled. "For God's sake, Rick, how could you think I would break up with you like that?"_

_He blushed. Rick Castle actually blushed in embarrassment. "I… I don't know… I just guess I messed up the meaning of your words." _

"_You think?" Kate asked sarcastically. She sighed loudly and walked a little closer to him. "Look, I'm sorry, ok? I should have explained myself better. I just didn't think you would react like that."_

"_Well, I'm sorry I messed up. I just… I don't understand what you need time for." He replied shyly._

_Kate sat on the small couch he had beside the big window of his study and patted the free spot as an invitation for him to take it. When he did, she took his hand in hers and swallowed. "I… This… couple thing? It's hard for me. I want this to work, Rick. I really do. That's why I need time to get used to it. I've never really done this before, you know? This… totally serious thing with a guy. It's always been easy because I wasn't really risking anything. But now… Now it's different."_

_He looked at her then, his eyes softer. "Because you're risking something?"_

"_Yes. I'm risking everything." Her eyes filled up with tears, but she fought them back. "I'm risking my time alone, my space, my patience, my self-control… But above all that, I'm risking my heart, and that's new for me. It scares me."_

"_Yeah, it's scary." He agreed. "But you need to let go, Kate. You need to risk if you want to win."_

_She nodded and smiled. "I know. I'm doing it. I'm willing to do it, but I need to set my own pace. One step at a time."_

"_Ok."_

_His arm sneaked around her shoulders and brought her closer to him, practically crushing her against his chest. "I'm sorry I overreacted like that. You must think I'm a complete jackass."_

_Kate tilted her head just a bit, so she could look at him. "Oh, I already thought that." She replied with a smirk. "But you're _my _jackass."_

"_Funny!" He laughed. "I deserve that…"_

_Kate shook her head and leaned in to kiss him, glad that they were on the same page again. _

* * *

_**Present time**_

They talked that night. She explained to him her worries and fears. How she was used to make her life alone, without anyone there to judge or telling her what to do. How she loved to be alone. Not lonely, just… alone. Having time for herself with a good book, or simply doing nothing but existing on her own. How much she feared not being able to share her life completely with another person when she was such an independent individual…

That helped him understand a lot of things that had happened during the last few weeks. He knew she was trying. He knew it would take her time, but he also knew she would get there.

For the time being, she was spending the weekend with him.

When he came out of his reverie, he was greeted by two green eyes looking back at him.

"Hey." She whispered.

"Hey yourself." He replied, smirking. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to bother you."

"You didn't." She said with a tender smile. She patted the spot beside her on the couch. "Come be alone with me?" She asked.

He gave her a flashing smile and nodded, walking towards the couch as if he had been invited to do something incredibly exciting. "Sure."

_**The End.**_

* * *

_**So, that was it... I have a weird feeling about this one, but I needed to let it out. Please, be good and nice and awesome as I know you are, and let me know what you think of it.  
**_

_**Thanks for reading! :D  
**_


End file.
